Kevin Wald: Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamkosh


In a short while, we will all know what Kosh looks like. Thus, this
is probably the last opportunity I will have to post an excerpt from
the full length speculative rock opera on the subject, _Joseph and 
the Amazing Technicolor (tm) Dreamkosh_. Enjoy.

[In the following, Ivanova sings the part of the perky narrator (someone
 had to do it, and she's the obvious choice); all others play themselves:]

Ivanova:  Joseph wanted to show the world an Ancient One
          He swore that by the time that season two was done:

JMS:      I'll have, by Gosh, a living Kosh,
          A multi-colored Kosh to show.

Ivanova:  But 'til then our Joseph tried to keep a lid
          On what Kosh was; in season uno, all he did
          Was give us signs and cryptic lines,
          And putter to and fro.
          And when Sheridan appeared,
          Kosh continued acting weird:

Kosh:     Come to Down Below when you're off-duty;
          Witness half a mo' of perfect beauty.

Ivanova:  What that meant is quite obscure;
          Is even Joseph really sure?
          Such a cryptic Kosh of many colors,
          How we love our Kosh of many colors;
          He'll be red and yellow and green and brown and --

Kosh:     Blue.

Ivanova:  Now the Britons all have seen the final four;
          The show that shows the Vorlon whom we all adore
          Has come and gone in Albion,
          But here we just don't know.
          And 'til Joseph shows that scene,
          We'll be discussing Purple/Green
          And the other topics that we quarrel on,
          While we wait to see our favorite Vorlon:

Kosh:     (*Tinkle*) Handsome. (*Wirble*) Smart.
          (*Kerthumpa*) Walking work of art.

Ivanova:  Such a dazzling Kosh of many colors,
          How we love our Kosh of many colors;
          He'll be:

Delenn:   Crimson and Scarlet and

Lennier:  Ecru and Ochre and

Sheridan: Genuine Orange,

Garibaldi: Chartreuse and Burgundy,

Drazi:    Green! and

Another Drazi:        Purple! and

Bester:   Ebon and Sable and

Talia:    Blonde and Mousy and

H. Gray:  Harriman Gray and

Knight:   Or and Argent and

Londo:    Fuchsia and Mauve and

Vir:      Brown and . . . brown and

Gropos:   $%#@! and &*%%#! and

Morden:   Subfusc and Shadowy

Spoo:     Pale and Sallow and

Picard:   Teal, Wine, Mustard, and

Jean Valjean:  Red and Black and

Kosh:     Blue.