Pantopia^TM

PANTOPIA^TM Entertainment Systems
(a subsidiary of CASTLES IN SPAIN^TM inc.) present:
The LATEST in simulated Utopian fantasy!
(for use with PANTOPIA^TM CortImp^TM and Super CortImp^TM hardware)

Experience TOTAL REALISM with electrical stimulation DIRECT to the PRIMARY SENSORY CORTICES! (including the PANTOPIA^TM HaptImp^TM available in March which providex the SENSATION OF TOUCH directly to the Primary Haptic Cortex). AUGMENT your simulated intellectual and physical attributes with ALL NEW CoProcessors, including 42830010: "The Albert Einstein"; 42830012: "The William Shakespeare"; 42830016: "The Arnold Schwarzenegger" and 42830018: "The Elle McPherson" (42830014: "The Michael Jackson" has been withdrawn pending a Supreme Court decision). ALTER your emotions through chemical moderation of the Limbic System!

PANTOPIA^TM Entertainment Systems offer you the chance to enjoy PERFECTION! Since everybody's idea of Utopia is different, we at PANTOPIA^TM cater to the INDIVIDUAL, offering a BIGGER range of virtual environments than any of our competitors. Why turn to television, literature etc. for your fantasies when you can experience the ULTIMATE in interactive media!

For patrons over eighteen years of age, the PORNOTOPIA^TM range of modules are also available. All PANTOPIA^TM modules are designed to be employed in the PRIVACY of your own home! Our service is discreet and absolutely confidential, and satisfaction is GUARANTEED!

The following modules are NEW for January 2003:

• AUTOCRACIA: Supreme executive power can be yours! With Autocracia, you choose to be any authority figure, from Tribal Chieftan to Fascist Dictator. Grant mercy to a helpless child, or send millions to the gas chamber - the choice is yours! Since real power consists in prevailing against contrary desires, your subjects will be as miserable and as dissatisfied as you desire! You can choose the option of peasant rebellion, or limited revolution: see the oppressed masses rise up in a tide of resentment which will ultimately be quashed by your fanatically loyal troops. Have all males aged between 14 and 60 castrated; command your citizens to erect pyramids or statues to your magnificence - your power is absolute! price: $49.95
• CRUXIVERBIA: For many people, the essence of life is the overcoming of obstacles - physical, emotional or intellectual. Cruxiverbia provides the subject with challenges, conundrums, riddles, enigmas of every variety and level of difficulty. You can assume the identity of perpetual student taking delight in pure discovery, research scientist dedicated to the search for knowledge, or Supreme Court judge ruling on matters of life or death! Used in conjunction with the 42830010 or 42830012 CoProcessors, this module allows the subject to solve as many problems of a given difficulty in a given period of time, as desired. Solve simple arithmetic, or debate advanced propositions from Wittgenstein! price: $49.95
• EGOMANIA: Have you ever envied a person for being sexier than you? or stronger? or smarter? With Egomania you can have it all! You choose the combination of CoProcesors to make yourself into that person you always wanted to be. Become the envy of millions. Win game shows, manage every feat of strength, star in every beauty contest. Get your face on the cover of magazines and your name in the Guiness' Book of Records - on every page! Climb Mount Everest, or swim the Pacific Ocean. Nothing will be beyond your reach. Become a pool hustler or card shark - or a national hero! price: $5.00 for world simulator + $9.95 per CoProcessor
• EPICURIA: The satisfaction of carnal desires - this is the purpose of Epicuria. Whether your taste is for food, drink, hunting, sex, sleep or tap-dancing, the satiety of your senses is assured. Eat the world's largest pizza (with or without anchovies) or ski down a mountain slope as long as the coastline of Finland! Visit brothels stocked with the most beautiful men and women in all space and time, from Helen of Troy to John Travolta. Hear Beethoven conduct Boulez, or Bach play Zappa. Hunt a Tyrannosaurus Rex or roller-blade through the Louvre! (due to unexpected demand, stocks of this module are limited) price: $49.95
• EUDEMONIA: If happiness is your only wish, then it shall be your only sensibility with Eudemonia. A steady endorphin flow to the reticular formation of the thalamus and brain stem ensures a state of well-being, which can be moderated at the user's command - from simple cheer, through gladness, delight, glee, felicity and beatitude up to and including rapture. Simulate the giddiness of first love - or the mature serenity of ancient companionship. Who needs a reason? Be happy for no reason at all, or even despite circumstances - brave funerals and tragic accidents involving kitchen utensils with a smile. Delight in misfortune; smirk at bereavement; chuckle at the hardship of loneliness or unemployment! price: $49.95
• IGNORAMIA: Over the millenia, wise men and women have universally affirmed the aphorism that ignorance is bliss. And now with Ignoramia, this bliss can be yours! Intellectual and sensory attenuation will mean that only the vaguest, the most trivial and temperate sensations and thoughts will ever cross your mind. Never again will you stagger through the tortuosity of meaningful conversation, endure the displeasure of meeting a significant intellectual challenge, or encounter the stressful consequences of extreme success or failure. Enter a world of blissful security, the freedom and happiness of childhood. News of accidents, family deaths, world wars etc. will be skilfully and professionally kept from your knowledge so that you may enjoy your irresponsibility undiminished. price: $49.95
• NECROPHILIA: Since fear of death can mar an otherwise enjoyable existence, this module simply eliminates that fear. Chemical moderation of the Limbic System puts you entirely at ease with the notion of your own mortality. Sleep soundly at nights! Achieve theological objectivity! Related phobias of heights, spiders, snakes, etc. will be necessarily diminished. A Suicide Option lets you painlessly and contentedly terminate actual physical existence at will - especially useful for sufferers of terminal disease! An extension module (available in April) will similarly extirpate existential angst, ontalgia and horror of the contingent. price: $49.95 (+ $5 for suicide module)
• UTILITOPIA:For some, Utopia is the condition of feeling needed, of being a help to others. Utilitopia offers you the chance to be of service! Your best friend dies horribly of gangrene - console his widow! Your son is beaten up and left for dead on the subway - start a concerned citizens' action group! Your wife hijacks a plane en route to New York and diverts its flight to Cuba where she declares her sympathy for Fidel Castro and his Communist ideals - share your experience on national television with other people in a similar position! Misfortune after tragedy will hound you - a stranger will jump out of a ten storey building and bleed to death at your feet; your neighbour will become infected by a rabid guinea pig - and only you will be able to help! price: $49.95
• POLYMORPHIA: For some, the physical body is the greatest constraint. Polymporphia frees you from this constraint - this module offers you the opportunity to redesign your own body! Grow an extra leg, or a third eyebrow. Alter your gender, or invent a new gender! Become a hamster - or a glacier. With modification of the body, your experiences, intentions, desires, will be similarly altered. Find out how the Taj Mahal falls in love! Divorce yourself from the anthropic principle - weak or strong. See the universe from the perspective of a flea, or a neutrino, or the letter Q. We guarantee that on your return to reality, nothing will ever seem intrinsically meaningful or worthwhile ever again. price: $49.95